Finding a Mama Mentor Through Text: A Motherhood Reading Journal
My favorite scene in the entire Harry Potter series happens at the end of Book 7 when Mrs. Weasley is fighting Bellatrix LeStrange. I won’t give you the blow by blow, but suffice it to say that Bellatrix is this sauntering, crazy confident, wicked woman, and Mrs. Weasley is, well, she’s kind of a dowdy housewife.
They’re in a full on battle, and Bellatrix goes for Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley screams, “NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!”
I can’t read, watch, or think about that scene without getting the shivers. Here is a woman who is frazzled, and a bit of a nag, who dares to fight Bellatrix – a person no one can touch. Mrs. Weasley’s actions even shock Voldemort and Harry, who for a moment stop fighting.
Only a mother can do that.
I’ve always loved Young Adult literature. I read it to remember what it’s like to be a teenager, and also for the mothers in the story. What are they doing? Do they have a job outside of the home? Do they have any outside interests? Friends? How do they react to and interact with their children? How does that presence or lack of presence impact their children?
You might ask why I wouldn’t just read a parenting book to learn how to parent a teenager. For one thing, since I am a practitioner of Creative Nonfiction, I prefer to study the role of mother through fiction because I look for the truth of her character – what resonates – and I apply that to my own motherhood stories. For another, I learn better through story. That is, I prefer to make believe.
Do I actually think I could fight off Bellatrix LaStrange? No, but I understand what it’s like to be frazzled, and I know what it’s like to be a nag. At the time of my writing this, Hadley is riding her bike to the high school to hang out with friends. I told her to wear her helmet, no Air Pods while she bikes, cross the street at the light, and still look before crossing, and text me when she gets home. I’ve told her these things at least 20 billion times today.
Harper has a virtual dance recital that she needs to be in full costume for which means I have to put her hair in a ballet bun, which, judging from my skills (or lack there of), can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours. I need Harper showered and dressed well before this, and so in between making sure Hadley is safe, I am reminding Harper every 15 seconds in a not-so-nice voice to get in the shower.
If I see the truth in Mrs. Weasley’s character in my own life, then maybe I can make-believe myself as a mother who is strong, and brave. I can make-believe myself as a mother who steps up to someone or something scary and evil. Even if I am not face to face with a real, live Bellatrix. I can make myself believe I am as courageous as Mrs. Weasley.
I don’t even need a wand for that.
Try It:
Consider setting up a Motherhood Reading Journal to keep track of your study of mothers in the books you read.
The prompts are simple:
Book Title:
Quote:
Page:
What resonates? How does this make me feel?
What does this remind me of?
What does this reveal, teach, or make me wonder about motherhood?
Books to consider:
Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (I suggest the entire series) by Jenny Han
Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
The Frances Books by Russell and Lillian Hoban
The Boyfriend List series by E. Lockhart
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff
True Believer by Nicholas Sparks
