Cheers! Prost! Sláinte! A Guide for Writing Toasts

Dec 1

A few months ago, my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. We went all out for the event, because in the words of my mom: “There won’t be many people left who were at our wedding when we get to our 50th anniversary.”

On that morbid note, let’s talk about how to write a toast.

Whether you’re raising a glass to your little sister at her wedding or ringing in the new year with friends, the pressure to say the right thing is high when it comes to speech-making. People want you to be funny, but not crass. They want the anecdotes to be personal and specific, but still able to be understood by everyone listening. On top of that, we’re so rarely given the opportunity to tell someone we love how much they mean to us in front of all the other people who love and care about them. Words matter, so how do we get them right?

Start in advance and ease into it.

Like I said before, this creative activity doesn’t need any more pressure, so don’t wait until the last minute. As soon as you know you’ll be called on to give a toast, start getting nostalgic and feel-y about the person or couple you’re celebrating. Take notes on your phone to capture favorite memories, important highs and lows in their life, and the impact they have had on others.

Avoid oversharing.

Once you have gathered some material, strike any memories that aren’t appropriate to share or require too much context to explain. Nobody likes to be on the outside of an inside joke, right?

Give them a heads-up, if you can.

I realize that sometimes there is an element of surprise for a milestone birthday or other events, and checking in with the person ahead of time isn’t possible. (But perhaps you could reach out to someone close to them.) That being said, I think it’s worth touching base. Don’t give anything away, but spare them the embarrassment of a factual error or something they’re unexpectedly sensitive about.

Practice in the mirror, or at least read it out loud a few times...

You knew I was going to make you do that, didn’t you? But why go to the effort to write a great toast if you’re just going to stumble over the words?

Alright, now for the fun part.

Working backward from my favorite toasts I’ve raised a glass to, and the one I wrote for my parents, I have created a five-part outline for a fool-proof appreciation speech. Whether you’re toasting someone you love or trying out one of the creative prompts at the end of this post, I hope you feel inspired to give it a try!

Start with a story, an image, or a memory that somehow represents the object of your toast.

If you don’t know the story of how my parents met, it began with a smile. A smile my mom gave all the way across a college quad, in the general direction of my father. It stopped him in his tracks. He had to know who she was, and that’s how it all began.
Connect it to something humorous or ironic.

It was really important for my dad to make the right impression. After all, if you want to spend your entire life with someone, you need to be sure they feel like they can trust you. That’s why, on one of their first few dates, my dad stole a pumpkin from someone’s porch. Well, he had arranged to pick up this pumpkin from his friend’s house, he just didn’t tell my mom that. Just drove through a neighborhood while they were out on a date and said, "My, what a nice pumpkin," and stopped to load it into the backseat. What were you thinking driving around with a boy like that, Mom?
Reference a struggle or a hardship that tested them, but that they recovered from.

My parents have loved each other through seasons of abundance and loss. There was the birth of their first child and the night my dad drove to the hospital where my mom was working to tell her that her mother had died. Moving into a historic family home. And finally having that baby boy Dad had wanted the first time.
Time for the love fest—a short list of things we’re grateful for or the impact they’ve had.

And after all these years, they are still working, still parenting, still caring for this farm and their friends and family. Plus—being wonderful grandparents to four very lucky grandchildren.
Close the loop by referring back to the initial memory.

We are so grateful for this legacy of love. For the smile that stopped a man in his tracks and their faithful dedication to follow God and one another through the twists and turns of these forty years. Your marriage has been a blessing to all of us. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. To David and Jill!

C+C Writer, Callie Feyen, also commemorated her parents’ anniversary with a toast this year. You can read her beautiful words here.

Try it out:

Even if you don’t have a special event on the horizon, writing a toast is such a lovely creative exercise. Here are a few ideas for turning the outline above into a blog post or Instagram caption:

Write a toast to celebrate the old year passing, or the new year beginning.

Say “cheers!” to the end of an era (like diapers, or grade school, or playing tooth fairy).

Lift a glass (or mug of hot coffee) to a minor character in your life (like the barista at your favorite cafe, or your date-night babysitter).

Celebrate an inanimate object by commemorating it in a toast. ¡Salud! to the minivan that shuttled your pack of children around for the last ten years. Cin cin! to your favorite shade of lipstick, the perfect coffee mug, or that stash of dark chocolate you have hiding in the medicine cabinet.